A Dance of Honor and Protection: Tracing Arab Masculinity and Femininity through Egyptian-Syrian Marriage Dynamics


Dina Taha, Doha Institute for Graduate Studies

In past and even recent sociological and anthropological research on masculinity and femininity in the Middle East, men and women were almost always studied separately or in one another’s distant backgrounds, rarely portrayed as parents and children, brothers and sisters, husband and wife, or lovers (Isidoros and Inhorn 2022). This left little sense in understanding wider inter-gender relations and interconnections within the family and intimate relationships (Isidoros and Inhorn 2022). Such an approach further enforced an implicit white liberal feminist stereotypical and Orientalist portrayal that all Arab men are oppressors, and all Arab women are oppressed and, hence need saving (Isidoros and Inhorn 2022; Razzack 2004, Abu Lughod 2002). This reductionist perspective overlooks the intricate interconnections between gendered social constructs. Building upon qualitative interviews with Egyptian husbands and Syrian refugee wives who married post-displacement, I explore the influence of perceptions of ideal masculinity and femininity on their union. By delving into these dynamics, I outline ways where Arab femininities and masculinities are interconnected, not solely in adversarial ways but also in complementary, reconciliatory, and sometimes reinforcing manners. This research focuses on the often-overlooked aspect of interconnectedness, shedding light on how these dynamics operate in real-world scenarios. Examining how women conceptualize ‘desirable’ masculinity and men envision ‘desirable’ femininity offers deeper insights into the meanings, embodiment, and societal pressures shaping these constructs in the Orientalized context of the Arab world (Said 1978; Ahmed 1992; Abu Lughod 2013). This sheds light on how femininity and masculinity mutually shape and influence each other, moving beyond the traditional isolation of men and women in the study of Gender in the Arab world (Isidoros and Inhorn 2022). During fieldwork, the image of the Syrian wife confined to the private sphere contrasted with the stereotyped Egyptian wife as too independent. I peel back the layers of this perceived Syrian femininity within the Egyptian collective consciousness, aiming to understand how it motivates and shapes these unions and what it tells us about Arab masculinities. The exploration of Syrian-Egyptian marriage dynamics reveals a fundamental premise: the core of masculinity revolves around protection and provision, contrasted with women’s expectations to uphold honor through modesty and respect, shaping the essence of ideal femininity. The narratives highlight men’s struggle to meet idealized masculine images and women’s discreet influence in guiding and reinforcing their spouses’ masculinity. A central piece in understanding the Egyptian patriarchy is that desirable femininity does not threaten masculinity. Respondents strategically utilized assertive femininity, strategic conformity, or pragmatic compromises. I refer to this negotiation as a “dance of honor and protection,” illustrating a nuanced gender dynamic beyond the typical oppressive men and oppressed women narrative. This rhythmic dynamic is characterized by a clear division of labor while leaving organic space for negotiation and occasional role interchange to uphold gendered expectations, resulting in mutual benefits to both parties. This paper contributes to understanding Arab masculinities by bridging the gap between masculinity and femininity research, unveiling the active role women play in shaping masculine identities through their interactions. This deeper understanding emphasizes the need to move beyond rigid gender segregation, acknowledging intricate interactions and influences between men and women in shaping societal norms and gendered expectations while striving to maximize personal gains.

This paper will be presented at the following session: